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Heart Centered Relationships

By Alisa Battaglia


"By far the greatest predictor of happiness is intimate relationships."


Intimate relationships are the key to love. They nourish body, mind and spirit, warm the soul and soften the heart. The quality of these relationships says a lot about the quality of our lives and our health, and reflects back to us what we need to learn--how to have more patience, be without judgment and essentially to love ourselves more until we reach a level of unconditional love. Intimacy is a mirror effect-- in-to-me-see. We give what we are. Love is what we are made of, not what we do, so reaching conscious awareness of this state of being is the path of life itself.

We all know the kind of relationship we would like to have, yet too often we stay in ones that don't reflect or serve the best in us. This is why it is essential that we seek to change ourselves. No one is ever to blame. We are always the answer to our every problem.

Heart centered connectivity means that we express from the higher space or perceptual reality within. This connection is ever the great liberator as it is a focus of self-empowerment that takes responsibility for life that moves towards self-connection and self correction when in error or confusion; loves truth and stays connected to love; gains information and connects it; ingests only what supports life; sees that pain is a product of inner conflict and uses constructive dissatisfaction to stay connected to the heart; and ultimately loves God first as the source of self-esteem. While we are all on the higher and lowers paths simultaneously, we can choose what path we will reside. The lower frequency is riddled with fear, confusion and doubt, guilt, fault, blame, lies and disinformation; and victimhood that perceives life solely through events. Life experienced through event reality suppresses truth because it sees it as a threat, which causes the mind to malfunction in ways that disempower. False power is weakness masquerading as strength and is often connected to being right; there is false humility and false forgiveness; sarcasm; addiction to fear and drama; engages in projection communication; insecurity leads to a quick response of attack when confronted with the truth; not willing to confront, information is suppressed and there is a preoccupation with some kind of doing; destructive dissatisfaction sees discipline as a means of punishment; sex becomes a block to intimacy; the need for instant gratification hooks into the chemistry of possession and bizarre sexual experiences to get excited; rage takes the place of purpose; as a taker, low energy gathers around the aura; crying and depression (adult temper tantrums), psychosis, aging, and disease predominate; and with a loss of self awareness attention is focused outwardly. With a blockage of truth the mind in denial will adjust reality out of awareness.

How do we bridge the lower path of pain to the higher path of the heart? The nature of relationships offers us hope and valuable opportunity to be freed by conflict in our opportunity to heal by conflict. In-to me-see.

No doubt we enter into relationships that end up being very difficult, while others flow effortlessly and perhaps some are a little of both. The “why” of this can be viewed on myriad levels to our necessity of growth in those areas. For instance, I was in relationship with a man that was intelligent and highly creative, but was suppressed. He came from an emotionally and physically abusive family and developed health problems in early adulthood. From then on his life was a struggle for physical wellness, gender awareness, and search for happiness and peace, but when he lost hope he withdrew his love in connection with Source and lived a narcissistic existence. I was a backdrop in his world of incapable love. Looking back upon this exceptionally difficult relationship I was freed by conflict in my opportunity to heal by conflict. I see that all his unprocessed experiences that were transferred onto me clearly pointed out power imbalances that showed me how weak my boundaries were and lack of alignment of truth in all areas of my life that concluded me in accepting and making excuses for his poor behavior. With the help of Spirit I Left that seven year relationship. It was like jumping off a precipice into a new existence--I never once for an instant looked back. I renounced my old ways of being and transformed. Renunciation allows us to see what is truly valuable in life.

The true blessing in the endured trials and tribulations was the securing of my personal boundaries, movement out of the attachment to things--the false glamour that pervades our culture, and most importantly the essential of self-discipline to co-create with Spirit the most authentic path of creation while in this incarnation. Discipline comes from the word disciple which means properly taught. What else other than divine love and principle as teacher? With a little self mastery we can practice Seven Magic Relationship Moves.

Essentially, the level of conflict in each relationship is a good indicator as to how much inner work has been accomplished and what areas still need more attention individually, as a couple, in friendship, in physical family and in spiritual groups. Relationship conflict mirrors how far out of alignment we are with ourselves. It always points back to us--our personal boundaries and sacrament with life.

Heart centered relationships are an exchange of authentic feelings and sometimes it takes spewing a lot of feelings to get to that inner space of being okay with self, to be okay with others. Oftentimes, we choose to suffer intensely and even put up with all sorts of abuses before we ever experience right relationship. The amount of abuse we allow from others is correlative to the amount of abuse we accept from ourselves, if not more. Loving ourselves is the key to authentically loving others.

No matter where we are, we can always strive for cooperation as an effortlessness and harmonious exchange of feelings, words, ideas, and actions that are complimentary and supportive to the spirit within us. Cooperation and responsible communication softens the blows of life instead of adding to harshness and unnecessary conflict. Truth is safe and since we all want to feel safe, expressing our truth is what we should stick with.

In assessing our relationships we can view them much in the same way we would our wardrobe. For instance, we might pick and choose to keep what fits or is sentimental or meaningful. Equally, to let go of what no longer fits, is old or out of style. Even though people are not to be discarded like clothes or traded in for a newer model, the point is to let go of those relationships that don’t wear well on us because they aren’t fulfilling. If they are dour and bring a dark light upon us, their color is not the right shade of love for right relationship of any kind.

Out of our circle of friends/acquaintances we find people from our past that no longer have a place in our present for whatever reason, while others we may wish to know better. So, we let go of those who no longer fit our current self, are consuming, attached to drama, and reach out to spend more time with those we would like to share with in quality, and strengthen current relationships that are fulfilling us.

Always tell everyone how special they are to share our love and appreciation with. This gladdens everyone’s’ heart. And under the Law of Attraction circulates love back to us. In reality Love is all there is.

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